What is Wrong With Me???

*The following post comes with a warning.. 

If you are offended by the inappropriate, 

especially in the context of older teenage boys 

(and their minds - heavens..).. 

AND if you are offended that a certain mother finds this freaking hilarious, 

PLEASE I BEG YOU.. read no further..*

[mostly so you won't judge me, and think I'm a bad mom]

As the title states.. What is wrong with me??

My darling daughter, Chelsea received a letter in the mail today.. 

It is from a young man, whom she has never been on a date with, in fact, she has only "hung out" with him a few times.. He is extremely funny, and also happens to like her a lot.. (pretty sure, anyway). She really has no interest in him, other than being his friend, and he has been fine with that.. Still flirts lots, etc..

Did I mention he is currently serving a mission?

Well, he is, and that is where this gets all the more inappropriate.. I am sure this is done mostly in the flirty way.. but *OH MY GOSH* I think this is so funny!!!!

This is actually the first letter he has written, and he left on his mission in August..

(and by the way, Chelsea gave me permission to write all this)

Here is a quote from said letter..

"Ok... so I wrote you a poem, it's my new hobby. I hope you like it, and sorry if it sucks."..

So, without any further adieu.. I present to you.. 

ODE TO CHELSEA

Chelsea, oh Chelsea, you are so good

I'll love you so tender, the way a man should

The first time I saw you, I understood

That I would gladly take you, if I could

Even though it'll never happen, I still would!

Chelsea, oh Chelsea, please by my bud

I'm not a bald loser, like that Elmer Fudd

Actually, I think of myself as a stud

I'm not a vampire, I won't suck your blood

And I'm not a fat cow, I don't chew my cud

Chelsea, lets go have fun and roll in the mud!

Chelsea, oh Chelsea, you are so hot!

At the sight of you my stomach turns into a knot

You're prettier than any bride that I've bought

And probably tastier than a Johnsonville Brat

Chelsea, with cupid's arrow I've been shot

And know I would marry you, right here, on the spot

You're more entertaining than 18 ounces of pot

If I had one, I'd let you ride on my yacht

In fact I would give you all I got

The words on this page, every last dot

Every single last letter, tittle, and jot

I know it's not much, it isn't a lot

But it's the best I can do out here in Wat.. (seka)

I'll marry you someday if you like it or not!

So Chelsea, my Chelsea, please give my your hand

I'm asking you nicely, this is no demand

I love you more than Dave Matthew's Band,

Our honeymoon can be in Hawaii, where we can get tanned,

I know you will love it, it will be so grand

We'll live like Hawaiians and get "lei"ed when we land,

Then head to the beach and make love on the sand. :)

(just a note.. Watseka, is the town he is currently serving in..)

(and he put the smiley at the end, in fact, all punctuation, etc, is his..)

Now, you know the rules.. you read this of your own free will, and you are not allowed to judge me, when I say, I find this one of the funniest things I've ever read, and I'm actually quite impressed with his poetry talent!!

Please.. leave me your opinions.. I'm counting on you, Landee, to be on my side..

Twilight.. In the eyes of a 4th grader..

Yesterday, Savannah (10 years old) finished Twilight.. She really thinks she is something.. But the funniest part? She found it on the reading counts list at school and took the test on it Monday (before she finished - What the?).. 

Well, she got a 10/10! (Okay, she said the movie helped her on the test - she's seen it twice).. But still! 

AND it was a 25 point book! (and apparently there's something in the reading counts store she has been dying for that is 13 points! (I can hardly wait to see what treasure it is!)

She started New Moon last night.. And I have a feeling she will soon be sporting those shnazzy tattoos inside.. (somehow Chelsea & I never got around to applying them to ourselves.. bummer!) Again, realllllly thinks she's fabulous that she's moving on to the 2nd book.. 

I told her when she started Twilight I wouldn't let her read book 4.. Hmmmm... I don't want to tackle the biting pillows conversation just yet..

Wait.. there's more..

She was telling me how fun it is to play Twilight at recess, because there are so many characters.. and went on to name every (every) character in the book.. 

[Apparently, if you play Narnia there are only 4 characters (what happened to the legions of others?) or Little House on the Prairie there are only 5 (agreed, there's only 5 - she's only read the first 2)..]

I have to wonder, is she playing Twilight at recess???

Or just imagining how great it would be to play Twilight at recess???

Will I be labeled a bad mom now? (to add to my list of other reasons?)

• lets 10 year old read Twilight
• has 7 year old that exclusively orders root beer because it looks the most like Diet Coke and mom won't let her order Diet Coke?
• pretty lax on curfews.. very dependent on who she's with.. if mom trusts the boy, I'm very un-strict about this.. (Debbie - I always trusted him!)
• many more.. just wanted to list one specifically for each girly..

Kid jokes..

Now, you may be expecting some lame jokes my girls have told me.. 

And they do tell me.. 

Really..

Lots..

The problem is, I was realizing this morning (as Adi was telling me a joke) that I simply don't listen to them.. Like at all.. Like at all, at all..

I have a "laugh" that my girls just expect when they tell me a joke.. I don't even try to do a real laugh.. Its more an annoyed courtesy laugh..

I don't think they're offended, or anything ::whew!::.. But, they're just in that phase where they're trying to tell jokes, and half the time they tell it wrong, they don't get it themselves, or worst of all - they made it up!..

But I was kinda feeling bad about it this morning.. How sad that mom can't even remember (and she's even trying) the joke you just told her.. I hope I'm not totally alone in this, but I'm having some very minor guilt about it.. 

Believe me, I'm not going to lose any sleep about this, but it was one of those "light bulb" moments, and it made me just a little sad.. My poor little aspiring comedians, with a very unappreciative audience.. 

I will try a little harder on this one..