I shouldn't answer the door..

It's true..

Not because I'm anti-social..

I just have issues with door-to-door salesmen.

Example #1

Shortly after we moved to Utah,

a salesman came to the door selling

"The Living Scriptures".

to make a long story short,

I bought them.

This was definitely the biggest purchase I had ever made without consulting Davy..

There are actually 48 Living Scriptures videos..

48..

One a month..

for four years..

Don't ask how much they were..

Trust me.. They were expensive..

The saddest part??

You know the answer..

I now own a bajillion dollars worth of scripture videos..

on VHS..

I don't even own a VCR anymore..

Example #2

last summer

a cute girl from some former Russian republic

came to my house selling educational CD's for the computer..

Here is a quick peek into my thoughts..

"the girls like to play games on the computer,

even educational games..

plus, one of these is a language program,

Chelsea is starting a foreign language this semester,

maybe it will help her!

What? Oregon Trail?

We loved the old, crappy version of this game in the mid-90's,

imagine how much better it will be now.."

Well,

..still never used 'em..

In fact,

I was going to take a picture of them..

..couldn't find 'em..

It really is a problem:

I've bought the cleaners..

I bought a service that would digitize my photos,

they never did it,

and are now gone..

I currently have 2 pest control companies..

Is that enough examples?

Please say yes..

Now,

I don't buy everything..

..but sometimes they come around with good stuff..

I hate it!

Time for a new story..

It will come full circle,

donchooyouworry..

My carpet is dirty..

It's been driving me crazy..

for a long time..

I get all ready to have it cleaned,

then come up with some excuse

or some project

that makes me postpone..

Last Friday,

my carpet was just grossing me out..

The entry from my living room to my kitchen?

Dis.Gust.Ing.

That's all I can say..

{plus, I frequently vacuum under my furniture..}

this is depressing

then I can see what color my carpet

is supposed to be..}

but like I said,

last Friday,

it was really bugging me..

as we were watching a movie with the girls,

Walter decided to barf..

right in the aforementioned area by the kitchen..

Lucky me,

I got to clean it up.

Lucky, lucky me, I know..

This was a mistake.

I cleaned it good.

A little too good.

When I looked at it all dried

Saturday morning?

It was like a glowing circle

12 inches in diameter.

Now, the carpet was making me sick.

So, its been bugging me extra all week.

Yesterday,

Chelsea and I were watching the BYU/TCU game.

Between being irritated at BYU's inability to make a basket,

I was fuming over my dirty carpet.

Trying to figure out how soon I could get it cleaned.

{I am in the midst

of a project in one of the girl's rooms,

not the best time to have the carpets cleaned}

During halftime,

Chelsea & I ate some lunch.

When we returned to the living room?

Walter had barfed.

Again.

Are you kidding me??

I am now officially tired of cleaning this up.

I finish cleaning and sit back on the couch.

Half watching the game.

Half hating my carpet.

Then, as if I had a direct line to heaven,

the doorbell rings.

I, of course, considered not answering it.

{because, remember?

I don't answer the door}

In fact,

I do this all the time.

{sorry if you came to my door

and I didn't answer}

{I could have easily been home,

I'm just anti-salesmen}

Really.

for the most part,

I don't answer my door.

99.9% of the time,

its not anyone I need to see.

Chelsea usually gives me a bad time when I don't answer.

Usually refers to me as being

socially retarded/awkward..

Maybe I am..

but that is a different post.

So, in part, to give myself a short break

from fuming about my carpet,

I answer the door.

As soon as this guy starts talking,

I know what he's selling.

Usually, I push this sales pitch off by saying

"I'm just on my way out the door,

darn, I'll be gone the rest of the day"

But today was different.

As if in answer to a prayer

the Kirby salesman was at my door

offering to clean one room of carpet for free.

I've never let these guys in,

but this time?

..it was if someone had heard my

inner anguish..

{and, I have a grody room of carpet!}

BONUS!

There were actually 2 Kirby guys.

Brent & Dave come in and start

assembling a brand-new Kirby vacuum in my living room.

My old neighbor had one..

I'd even borrowed it a couple times.

At the time it just seemed like a vacuum.

I. Was. Wrong.

Brent {the main guy}

asked to see my current vacuum.

I own a Dyson.

Supposed to be a great vacuum.

When I first got it,

I loved it.

I have not been as in love with it lately.

Don't worry,

it's not clogged or dirty,

I checked.

I just haven't felt like it does as great a job anymore.

It could be because it's getting old.

Brent asked where my dirtiest area was.

He plugged in my Dyson

and began to vacuum.

In fact, he vacuumed in 3 directions.

I liked it.

My kind of "vacuumer".

I'm a very thorough "vacuumer"..

In fact, I love to vacuum.

Maybe it's because,

if I'm vacuuming,

it means

THIS ROOM IS DONE!!

{more on that later}

Then, Brent grabbed the Kirby.

If you've never seen a Kirby demo before,

they have a little attatchment they connect

where the bag should be..

..to show what their vacuum will do.

Brent put one of these little paper filters

in the attatchment.

He turned it on.

He swiped 2 times.

In the middle of the spot he just vacuumed

with my Dyson.

2 times.

Quickly.

Like..

1-Mississippi

2-Mississippi

Then, he showed us the filter..

Are you kidding me????????

How disgusting is that?????

He went around to different areas of my

living room,

each time replacing the filter..

All of it..

Gross.

Then he proceeded to put on the

shampoo attatchment and started cleaning

my carpet.

It took him about 20-25 minutes.

At this point?

I'm giddy.

There is a spot near my television

with a plum-sized spot.

It is nearly black.

Chelsea & I were waxing our legs last summer.

Chelsea may have spilled a little bit.

With trying to "clean" it,

we were left with this lovely blackish spot.

Guess what?

Gone.

The glowing circle that once was covered in dog vomit?

Gone.

My carpet?

Clean, fluffy, beautiful.

Dingy? Not at all!

Well, as you may have guessed,

and to make this long story

a wee bit shorter..

I now own a Kirby.

He even took my Dyson away.

{trade in}

Did I vacuum?

You betcha.

It was fun!

Did you know a Kirby has about a kajillion attatchments??

I shoulda taken a picture..

just imagine..

Wow.

This morning, I decided to vacuum my blinds.

Have you ever tried this?

For me, usually a monumental waste of time.

Even when I have used a wet cloth I can never get all the dust off.

Either way -

I get done and think,

"well, about half the dust is gone, that's better"

Sad, huh?

Plus, in my living room I have 10-12 foot windows.

These babies are hard to reach.

Guess what?

Thanks to a horsehair attachment

and an extender..

I have dust-free blinds..

For the first time in..

well..

For the first time.

Squeeeeeeeeeeee!

Am I in love with a vacuum??

Maybe.

It is a very strong attraction, for sure.

Expect to hear more about my musings as I vacuum.

I do a lot of thinking while I vacuum.

This could be because I spend a lot of time when I vacuum.

I love to vacuum the ceiling, the corners, the baseboards, the edges, and of course under all the furniture.

Now, I can vacuum, and actually make it worth my while.

Was it expensive?

Yep.

But this baby will last forever.

And I can't imagine why I would ever get another vacuum.

{plus - I was probably getting close to needing a new one}

Even if this vacuum completely dies,

I can have it rebuilt by the Kirby factory for $165.

And now?

I can shampoo my carpets room-by-room.

When they need it.

Quickly.

I can't even list the vacuum plans I have made with Kirby.

We're going to be fantastic friends.

In closing,

I still shouldn't answer the door.

But this time?

I'm soooo glad I did.

Oh, are you wondering what Davy thought?

Me too..

This is how he's finding out!

Love you Davy!!

..and I love you Kirby.

.