What is Wrong With Me???

*The following post comes with a warning.. 

If you are offended by the inappropriate, 

especially in the context of older teenage boys 

(and their minds - heavens..).. 

AND if you are offended that a certain mother finds this freaking hilarious, 

PLEASE I BEG YOU.. read no further..*

[mostly so you won't judge me, and think I'm a bad mom]

As the title states.. What is wrong with me??

My darling daughter, Chelsea received a letter in the mail today.. 

It is from a young man, whom she has never been on a date with, in fact, she has only "hung out" with him a few times.. He is extremely funny, and also happens to like her a lot.. (pretty sure, anyway). She really has no interest in him, other than being his friend, and he has been fine with that.. Still flirts lots, etc..

Did I mention he is currently serving a mission?

Well, he is, and that is where this gets all the more inappropriate.. I am sure this is done mostly in the flirty way.. but *OH MY GOSH* I think this is so funny!!!!

This is actually the first letter he has written, and he left on his mission in August..

(and by the way, Chelsea gave me permission to write all this)

Here is a quote from said letter..

"Ok... so I wrote you a poem, it's my new hobby. I hope you like it, and sorry if it sucks."..

So, without any further adieu.. I present to you.. 

ODE TO CHELSEA

Chelsea, oh Chelsea, you are so good

I'll love you so tender, the way a man should

The first time I saw you, I understood

That I would gladly take you, if I could

Even though it'll never happen, I still would!

Chelsea, oh Chelsea, please by my bud

I'm not a bald loser, like that Elmer Fudd

Actually, I think of myself as a stud

I'm not a vampire, I won't suck your blood

And I'm not a fat cow, I don't chew my cud

Chelsea, lets go have fun and roll in the mud!

Chelsea, oh Chelsea, you are so hot!

At the sight of you my stomach turns into a knot

You're prettier than any bride that I've bought

And probably tastier than a Johnsonville Brat

Chelsea, with cupid's arrow I've been shot

And know I would marry you, right here, on the spot

You're more entertaining than 18 ounces of pot

If I had one, I'd let you ride on my yacht

In fact I would give you all I got

The words on this page, every last dot

Every single last letter, tittle, and jot

I know it's not much, it isn't a lot

But it's the best I can do out here in Wat.. (seka)

I'll marry you someday if you like it or not!

So Chelsea, my Chelsea, please give my your hand

I'm asking you nicely, this is no demand

I love you more than Dave Matthew's Band,

Our honeymoon can be in Hawaii, where we can get tanned,

I know you will love it, it will be so grand

We'll live like Hawaiians and get "lei"ed when we land,

Then head to the beach and make love on the sand. :)

(just a note.. Watseka, is the town he is currently serving in..)

(and he put the smiley at the end, in fact, all punctuation, etc, is his..)

Now, you know the rules.. you read this of your own free will, and you are not allowed to judge me, when I say, I find this one of the funniest things I've ever read, and I'm actually quite impressed with his poetry talent!!

Please.. leave me your opinions.. I'm counting on you, Landee, to be on my side..